Supporting Your Student

SUPPORTING YOUR STUDENT

An incident involving racial slurs can affect students in different ways. Students who were targeted or hurt by the comments may feel angry, sad, anxious, isolated, or less comfortable at school. Students who made the comments may experience embarrassment, regret, shame, social conflict, or worry about the consequences of their actions. Other students may feel caught between peers or uncertain about how to respond.

Every student may need support. Providing emotional support does not excuse harmful behavior or diminish its impact. Students can be held accountable, learn from their actions, and grow while receiving appropriate support.

HOW CAN I SUPPORT MY TEEN?

• Listen without judgment. Invite your teen to share their feelings and perspective without pressure.
• Acknowledge emotions. Avoid minimizing the incident or dismissing feelings of hurt, anger, embarrassment, or regret.
• Stay connected. Check in over time and ask what support would be helpful.

WHAT CHANGES SHOULD I LOOK FOR?
In the days and weeks following an upsetting incident, watch for noticeable changes in your teen’s mood, behavior, relationships, or daily functioning.

• Changes in mood: Increased sadness, anxiety, anger, irritability, shame, or emotional numbness.
• Withdrawal or isolation: Pulling away from friends or family, avoiding peers, or losing interest in usual activities.
• Changes in school functioning: Difficulty concentrating, declining grades, increased absences, or reluctance to attend school.
• Increased worry: Feeling unsafe, fearing rejection or judgment, or worrying about peer relationships.
• Changes in sleep or appetite: Sleeping significantly more or less than usual, difficulty sleeping, or noticeable changes in eating habits.
• Changes in self-worth or behavior: Feeling unwelcome, expressing hopelessness, increased conflict, or behaving in ways that seem out of character.

Not every student will show visible signs of distress, and reactions may change over time.

WHEN MIGHT ADDITIONAL SUPPORT BE NEEDED?
Feeling upset following a difficult incident does not necessarily indicate a mental health concern. Consider seeking support if changes persist or worsen, several concerns occur together, or your teen’s relationships, school participation, or daily functioning are affected. Report concerns about ongoing harassment, retaliation, or safety to the school.

Take statements about suicide or self-harm seriously. If there is immediate danger, call 911 or Mobile Crisis (518.292.5499). Call or text 988 for suicide and crisis support.

SCHOOL-BASED SUPPORT IS AVAILABLE
South Colonie school-based mental health professionals are available to support students and families. Contact your school psychologist, school social worker, or school counselor (middle and high school) to discuss concerns and available supports. A listing of mental health providers by school is available here.

TURNING A DIFFICULT SITUATION INTO AN OPPORTUNITY FOR LEARNING AND CONNECTION
Difficult incidents can create opportunities for meaningful conversations about racism, respect, empathy, and the impact of our words and actions. Parents and caregivers can help teens reflect on racial bias, consider the experiences of others, and understand the importance of treating everyone with dignity.

• Talk about racism. Ask what your teen understands about racism and racial slurs, why such language can be harmful, and how words and actions affect others.
  • American Academy of Pediatrics: Talking to Children About Racism—The Time Is Now — Discussing racism experienced or witnessed and acknowledging feelings.
  • American Academy of Pediatrics: Talking to Children About Racial Bias — Recognizing stereotypes, discussing racial differences, and challenging bias.
  • University of Minnesota Extension: Talking to Children About Racism — Practical guidance for ongoing conversations and responding to discrimination.
  • EmbraceRace: A Caregiver’s Guide to Supporting Children’s Racial Learning — Guidance on race, identity, and belonging for children through age 14; available in English and Spanish.
• Encourage reflection and growth. Help your teen consider different perspectives, recognize the impact of hurtful behavior, and identify ways to contribute to a more respectful school community.
• Build connection and community. Encourage positive relationships, respectful conversations, and involvement in efforts that promote understanding, inclusion, and belonging. Working together can help students feel supported and less isolated.
• Model the values you want to see. Demonstrate respect, listen to experiences that differ from your own, and reinforce that everyone has a role in creating a welcoming community.

These conversations may not always be easy, and families do not need to have all the answers. Openness, empathy, and a willingness to learn can help teens navigate difficult experiences and contribute to a stronger school community. Students who were hurt are not responsible for educating others or repairing relationships.